My friend April is being really nice to me today!!! She spontaneously brought me some tea at work and now she is inquiring about whether I need a ride to the airport a couple of weeks from now. And she is getting me some more tea! This is like having the oft dreamed about personal assistant... She probably doesn't want to me to put this picture online. Or she might want me to work for her next week...

Not speaking about my friend April in particular, but people are a lot like rats (hmm...but my rat is named April...) as I am sure I have stated before in my blog.

Co-dependency...the parallel between battered women and rats... When my rat May was living, April had a tendency to pluck May's hair out (for reasons never known to me...) So, figuring that May occassionally got tired of the abuse, I would put them in separate cages but then leave the doors open in case they wanted to get back in the same cage together or just sit out on the table. Invariably, May would go rejoin April in the other cage...

Destructiveness... Last week April (still talking about the rat here) crawled into my closet and ruined my funeral skirt by taking exactly two bites out of it. She didn't chew it up and make a nest out of it (well, she probably didn't have time anyway...) she just chomped on it just enough to ruin it.

More later...

On an unrelated topic, the tiny island nation of Kiribati (where my dad, sisters and stepmother live) has taken a small step toward toppling a giant, or so you might think by the reaction... After Kiribati suddenly recognized Taiwan as like an actual country and let them have an embassy there, the Chinese government broke diplomatic ties and rushed home like the crazed immature babies they are.

Someone told me that if you looked at pornography with one eye, it isn't as bad...

Bush has announced that he is going to vote for himself. "Proof of his own stupidity," quipped my Republican co-worker...

This is my kinda game! Of course, I would probably have to play with two 12 ounce beers. And, the only competitors I could find would probably just only play if they could use bottled water. Oh, my life is so fun...

First of all, I would like to point out that I am always right and you all come around to my way of thinking eventually and then give me absolutely no credit. You know who you are.

What, you ask, brings you back to your blog today, Sarah? What indeed... My favorite subject, of course. My yeasties and my fervent hope that they all die soon! Anyway, I went to a new doctor because my yeasties are so cute that I had to share the wealth with other doctors... Or, erm, I think that 6 months is a good lifespan for yeasties and want them dead dead dead! Anyway, I told the new doctor the yeastie saga. This rather sympathetic doctor (a change, both the sympathy and the doctor part (the others were nurse practioners..)) commented that I had tried all the usual drugs. I mentioned that word that doctors love to hear (the "Internet") and said I read about anti-fungal drugs that are prescribed to people dying of AIDS... So, she prescribed me some! Just kidding. She looked at me weird and said that those are awfully hard on the liver. Maybe it is best to conserve the liver if you are expected to live on after treatment... I don't know. The good part of the visit is that she prescribed a new drug and one of the old drugs (Terazol, which is supposedly the best yeastie drug out there...) The new one is just an antibiotic. Those are really supposed to cause yeasties, buy hey, I am not that picky. All I want is something that has not yet been tried.

In other dread disease news, my mother does not have hepatitis. She stuck a needle into a person with hepatisis and then stuck it into herself. This sounds rather exotic, but really it wasn't since she is a nurse. She was naturally fearful that she had contracted the disease, but I pointed out that she probably doesn't have anymore than 10 or 15 years left either way. She did not find this very comforting... What is that movie in which someone shouts, "Do you want to live forever?!" Apparently so. And she her optimist is unaffected by the relatively short lives of her immediate family. With those genes, I am planning on struggling on to maybe 62, with some luck... She insists that the true longevity of her family has been obscured by early deaths from smoking related disease... Well, that would be an argument in favor of her long life...if she hadn't smoked.

My brush with fame! This evening at the Schuster Center, the guy from "Judging Amy" walked by! I wouldn't have noticed him, probably, but someone had already pointed out that he was walking around. Apparently, he is dating the white cat actress in "Cats." I like to see famous people in person because it is neat that there is only one of them in the world and they happen to be where I am.

My exciting life...

My life has been very exciting lately! I have done some things that I have never done before or I haven't done in a long time!

Never before...

*Smoked a cigar (strangely, I liked it! It didn't taste icky like cigarettes and it perked me up after excessive Indian food and booze...)
*Went to a poetry reading (Billy Collins...comic genius...)
*Went to a mediation session at a dharma center (the longest 40 minutes of my long life...)


Not for many many years...

*Got a perm (feedback from friends and colleagues was that perms was an all time hair low...some friends indignant at other perm haired friend for "leading poor Sarah astray"...(raising the question of who is to blame for all of my previous hair "styles"...))
*Went to a dance club (they have beds in dance clubs now!!)

Well, it is official. I am a hypochondriac loon. According to my doctor, the only hope (slight) is intensive yoga. Here are the diseases I don't have:

*Hypothyroidism (sadly...)
*AIDs (thankfully...but no surprise because the platelett people are always after my plateletts) (I don't want any comments from you politically correct folks out there saying that I should have written HIV, because if you have a yeast infection for 5 months and have the HIV virus, that is AIDs!)
*Diabetes (no surprise there...I don't think anyone in my family has ever had that...)
*Hypoglycemia
*Other diseases/conditions the doctor thought fit to test me for but did not bother to mention...

Questions the doctor asked me that confirmed my belief that he thinks I am a loon...

1. Do you feel like hurting other people?
2. What, you have a job? Where?

Question I asked him that he couldn't answer...

1. Is intensive yoga going to make my 5 month old yeast infection go away?

Some diseases I am glad I don't have!!!

Usually I like big noses...

Good for Halloween...

I would have had to exercise self euthanasia if I had this one...

Hehehe. My hypochondria (self diagnosed based on yet another Internet test!) has been fueled again!

I mentioned to my mother that, according the blood donation workers, I have low blood pressure (almost so low they won't take my blood (100/60 when it has to be 100/50)) and a low temperature (96.8). Luckily, I don't have a particularly slow heart rate (80 when it can be between 50 and 100...)

Then, my mother, who is a nurse, asked if I had every been tested for hypothyrodism. Ah, the words I love to hear... Alas, I had read about the symptoms in "Vogue" in 1996 or 1997 and rushed to a doctor. I was disappointed in yet another quest to actually have a disease instead of a bunch of vague chronic fatiguey symptoms. I rushed to the doctor once when a tick bit me too when Lyme's disease came out...

"Hypothyroidism, or underactivity of the thyroid gland, may cause a variety of symptoms and may affect all body functions. The body's normal rate of functioning slows, causing mental and physical sluggishness. (Is this Sarah or what!!) The symptoms may vary from mild to severe, with the most severe form called myxedema, which is a medical emergency."

Here are the symptoms! I bolded the ones that apply to me...


Early symptoms:

weakness
fatigue
cold intolerance
constipation
weight gain (unintentional)
depression
joint or muscle pain
thin, brittle fingernails
thin and brittle hair
pale color

Well, there are a lot of "late symptoms" I don't have, so I will skip over them...

Vegan recommendations of the day...

Oops. The Tofutti web site is not working... Otherwise, I would provide a link to their cream cheese. I wear to God it tastes just like normal cream cheese.

Also, can't find any vegan crackers? Eat you peanut butter on pretzels...

Read this hilarious thing quickly before it disappears! If that is how ebay works...

OMG OMG!!! My friend from high school got my letter and wrote me back! What fun! Me and Allen were reciprocal sidekicks in high school. He said he was too cheap to pay the $39.00 to email me too! Just for the record, I was going to shell it out to email him via classmates.com if he didn't write me back. Oh my, I have been going down memory lane since I got his message... Oh, the fights we had. Hopefully, he will be able to remember about what. I remember the floppy shoe argument (he wouldn't go into the quickstop with me because he was embarassed because I was wearing his shoes (he has very big feet...)) The stalled car argument (he thought we looked silly pushing the car down the road...)... Of course, I don't remember any of the ones that were my fault.

Woo-hoo! Haloscan worked!

On to my next message:

From Spanky/Sparky: "Its (sic) Spanky, not Sparky. And why do you assume I am a he?"

Sarah's response: Spanky, I am sorry I called you Sparky... But, really, your name is not actually Spanky either!! How do I know you are a a he? Well, it is hard to say exactly... How does one know it is going to rain? How does one know when someone doesn't her? (Oops, bad example... I haven't mastered that skill...) Anyway, sometimes, you just can tell stuff... But, if you provide me with some hints, I can revise my assessment...

Response to recent messages...

My sister wrote: "You were supposed to get comments from Haloscan... Why so lazy?"

My response: Initially, I started an exigeses of my laziness (I am giving my blog reading public a lot of opportunities to correct my vocabulary tonight...), but then, I was like, hey, maybe I will just use this time to add the haloscan thing to my blog! So, I am trying it now...

I finally deleted some posts from the guestbook to make room for more comments from my loyal public! Instead of deleting the oldest posts, I went through and randomly deleted posts that did not appeal to me... Hairball cat compliments (really, compliments in general...)were spared... Ruthlessly deleted were any posts that suggested that I was somehow less than perfect...especially any impugned my desireability as a beloved... (I mean, if I weren't vain, I wouldn't have a blog, now would I...)

My newest pyschiatric diagnosis... I am sorry to say, I didn't come up with this one myself... I took this crazy person test and scored high on schizoid personality

I think that I have a very mild form...

Schizoid Personality Disorder:

A pervasive pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of expression of emotions in interpersonal settings, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:

(1) neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family

(2) almost always chooses solitary activities

(3) has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person

(4) takes pleasure in few, if any, activities

(5) lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives

(6) appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others

(7) shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity

Note to self... Do not have Scotch for breakfast...

"Its head appears too small for its body and it looks more like a squat, grumpy blob than a living creature..."

Ah, the English are so harsh...

Now I forgot what my product was... Hmm. Not Resolve (the carpet cleaner...though I do highly recommend it.) Ooh, I remember. Cracklin Oat Bran! Expensive and fattening, but very good. I first felt the spark in college...

Speaking of rekindling sparks (at least friendly sparks...), Sarah is dragging the past for old friends... After exchanging email with old high school friend Sean (still suspected as Sparky...) just last week, I noticed that boon friend of old Allen had joined classmates.com and, being to cheap to pay $39.00 to email him, I wrote him a letter, like through the mail! Then, heady with nostalgia, I tracked down an address for old college friend Ann and dispatched another letter. Who will be the next Sarah contact victim... Who indeed... MAYBE SPARKY if he discloses his identity. Though, I am still not convinced that Sparky is known personally to me. I still think he is a friend of my sister's. For reasons that are hard to pin down, he just seems a bit brighter than most of my friends (no offense...hehehehe)...

New pictures on my site (by the word "new")!! My most recent set of pictures have inspired me to start recording my camera settings to figure out what the $&#%)& is going wrong...