Some diseases I am glad I don't have!!!

Usually I like big noses...

Good for Halloween...

I would have had to exercise self euthanasia if I had this one...

Hehehe. My hypochondria (self diagnosed based on yet another Internet test!) has been fueled again!

I mentioned to my mother that, according the blood donation workers, I have low blood pressure (almost so low they won't take my blood (100/60 when it has to be 100/50)) and a low temperature (96.8). Luckily, I don't have a particularly slow heart rate (80 when it can be between 50 and 100...)

Then, my mother, who is a nurse, asked if I had every been tested for hypothyrodism. Ah, the words I love to hear... Alas, I had read about the symptoms in "Vogue" in 1996 or 1997 and rushed to a doctor. I was disappointed in yet another quest to actually have a disease instead of a bunch of vague chronic fatiguey symptoms. I rushed to the doctor once when a tick bit me too when Lyme's disease came out...

"Hypothyroidism, or underactivity of the thyroid gland, may cause a variety of symptoms and may affect all body functions. The body's normal rate of functioning slows, causing mental and physical sluggishness. (Is this Sarah or what!!) The symptoms may vary from mild to severe, with the most severe form called myxedema, which is a medical emergency."

Here are the symptoms! I bolded the ones that apply to me...


Early symptoms:

weakness
fatigue
cold intolerance
constipation
weight gain (unintentional)
depression
joint or muscle pain
thin, brittle fingernails
thin and brittle hair
pale color

Well, there are a lot of "late symptoms" I don't have, so I will skip over them...

Vegan recommendations of the day...

Oops. The Tofutti web site is not working... Otherwise, I would provide a link to their cream cheese. I wear to God it tastes just like normal cream cheese.

Also, can't find any vegan crackers? Eat you peanut butter on pretzels...

Read this hilarious thing quickly before it disappears! If that is how ebay works...

OMG OMG!!! My friend from high school got my letter and wrote me back! What fun! Me and Allen were reciprocal sidekicks in high school. He said he was too cheap to pay the $39.00 to email me too! Just for the record, I was going to shell it out to email him via classmates.com if he didn't write me back. Oh my, I have been going down memory lane since I got his message... Oh, the fights we had. Hopefully, he will be able to remember about what. I remember the floppy shoe argument (he wouldn't go into the quickstop with me because he was embarassed because I was wearing his shoes (he has very big feet...)) The stalled car argument (he thought we looked silly pushing the car down the road...)... Of course, I don't remember any of the ones that were my fault.

Woo-hoo! Haloscan worked!

On to my next message:

From Spanky/Sparky: "Its (sic) Spanky, not Sparky. And why do you assume I am a he?"

Sarah's response: Spanky, I am sorry I called you Sparky... But, really, your name is not actually Spanky either!! How do I know you are a a he? Well, it is hard to say exactly... How does one know it is going to rain? How does one know when someone doesn't her? (Oops, bad example... I haven't mastered that skill...) Anyway, sometimes, you just can tell stuff... But, if you provide me with some hints, I can revise my assessment...

Response to recent messages...

My sister wrote: "You were supposed to get comments from Haloscan... Why so lazy?"

My response: Initially, I started an exigeses of my laziness (I am giving my blog reading public a lot of opportunities to correct my vocabulary tonight...), but then, I was like, hey, maybe I will just use this time to add the haloscan thing to my blog! So, I am trying it now...

I finally deleted some posts from the guestbook to make room for more comments from my loyal public! Instead of deleting the oldest posts, I went through and randomly deleted posts that did not appeal to me... Hairball cat compliments (really, compliments in general...)were spared... Ruthlessly deleted were any posts that suggested that I was somehow less than perfect...especially any impugned my desireability as a beloved... (I mean, if I weren't vain, I wouldn't have a blog, now would I...)

My newest pyschiatric diagnosis... I am sorry to say, I didn't come up with this one myself... I took this crazy person test and scored high on schizoid personality

I think that I have a very mild form...

Schizoid Personality Disorder:

A pervasive pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of expression of emotions in interpersonal settings, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:

(1) neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family

(2) almost always chooses solitary activities

(3) has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person

(4) takes pleasure in few, if any, activities

(5) lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives

(6) appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others

(7) shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity

Note to self... Do not have Scotch for breakfast...

"Its head appears too small for its body and it looks more like a squat, grumpy blob than a living creature..."

Ah, the English are so harsh...

Now I forgot what my product was... Hmm. Not Resolve (the carpet cleaner...though I do highly recommend it.) Ooh, I remember. Cracklin Oat Bran! Expensive and fattening, but very good. I first felt the spark in college...

Speaking of rekindling sparks (at least friendly sparks...), Sarah is dragging the past for old friends... After exchanging email with old high school friend Sean (still suspected as Sparky...) just last week, I noticed that boon friend of old Allen had joined classmates.com and, being to cheap to pay $39.00 to email him, I wrote him a letter, like through the mail! Then, heady with nostalgia, I tracked down an address for old college friend Ann and dispatched another letter. Who will be the next Sarah contact victim... Who indeed... MAYBE SPARKY if he discloses his identity. Though, I am still not convinced that Sparky is known personally to me. I still think he is a friend of my sister's. For reasons that are hard to pin down, he just seems a bit brighter than most of my friends (no offense...hehehehe)...

New pictures on my site (by the word "new")!! My most recent set of pictures have inspired me to start recording my camera settings to figure out what the $&#%)& is going wrong...

Blog silence is broken!! I have been inspired by learning a new word and also wanting to share a product recommendation with my blog reading public. In struggling through a crossword puzzle, I came accross the clue "slugabed's sin." I have never encountered the word before, but I instantly knew...I am a slugabed! The most flattering definition I could find is from the American Heritage Dictionary - "One inclined to stay in bed out of laziness." Less flattering from Roget's - "A self-indulgent person who spends time avoiding work or other useful activity..."

Geez, after my first modern day blog effort, I am not too tired to recommend my product. I will rest up until later.

Ah, too late for my beloved Pinky...

My lifespan timing sucks! Too late for the big prehistoric rodents and too early to have perpetual Pinkys...

Maybe I don't read other people's blogs as much as I should... Because, blogs are going downhill without my gentle guidance...

First of all...Summer's blog. Hmm. Nevermind, that would take too long... Well, okay, I will say this... If you want a REALLY INTERESTING critique of what is wrong with every though Andrew Sullivan ever had, click here. Summer has always had unnatural fascination with this guy. I don't remember her ever being happier than when the "bareback" scandal broke... Summer has made a huge mistake by adding a site meter to her blog. Now she is depressed that she is far and away her most frequent visitor... Ah, if only Andrew would flame her...

Then, there is Dana!... I take issue with her analysis of my Internet dating success! I think it has been wildly successful!!!! I have met some very nice people who I would not have met otherwise. Geez, what do you people expect!? As Amy's blog shows, Amy signed up and quickly duplicated my experience of meeting a very nice and normal man who she enjoyed meeting. Ah, the joy of vindycation...

Why is it if ever I am not seen at work the minute I am expected, everyone assumes Sarah has not properly notified her employer and is most likely dead. It never seems to occur to someone that I might have simply called in sick. Am I so reliable that I have to be dead to not show up at work... Dana in particular seems to expect me to meet a bad end soon. Last time someone died around here, she feared ("feared" might be too strong of a word...) it was me.

And Shannon has spewed more rat hating vitriol on her blog...

An interview with Shannon...

Q: What is worse than being gay?
A: The Girl Scouts funding a organ transplant operation on a gay rat with money they raised from stem cell research with stem cells harvested from Harry Connick, Jr's aborted fetus.

Erm...maybe you had to be there...

She is probably going to make me delete this...

Oh, why do I have to live now and not then!!!!

The Longest Day...

As we all know, Sarah about 4 hours of mental energy in any given day. So, eek, the horror of the Sarah Saturday now... I must wake up at 7:30 and drive to my 9:10 class in Cincy. The class ends an agonizing four hours later at which time I have to drive directly to work and work from 2:00 to midnight. For those of you good at math, you might notice that the ordeal takes 16 hours. That is four times my allotted energy for the day!!!! Eek. So far, on day 1 of class, I had to go to a wedding so I didn't have to go to work. Day 2 - called in sick to work. Day 3 - went to work and begged co-worker who happened to be there to work from 8 p.m. to midnight for me and went home. Erm...hopefully I will have adjusted to the idea by week 4? It is pretty clear to me that I wouldn't have lasted a day in a concentration camp...

Guard one - Why does that one keep trying to sneak into the crematorium line?

Guard two - I don't know what she has against 18 hours of force labored. She obviously has energy to spare with that butt...

Ahh, the problems of being delicate...

How ironic... Right when Mother leaves the area...

A new source for boyfriends, if I can find them...

Hey, this thing has spell check now!