Ooh, the end is near... Pet yer kitties bye bye and get some raw food...

It's a darn good thing no one actually reads my blog or I might be a bit embarrassed!!! Apparently, BOB Kerry, not JOHN Kerry is the Senator accused of his own little My Lai massacre. Appologies to John... Doesn't anyone listen with I talk either!? (Note to self: Review the name of your blog...) I mean, I don't know how many times I have mentioned the supposed "Kerry massacre" without inspiring a contradiction... I have gotten a few rather incongruous responses, but I am used to people saying weird stuff anyway...

But once again, it shows how desperate I have become... My sister says that I am just trying to make up for being "Nader voter" but to that I say... I have a defense!!! I named my dog after Nader when I was a kid. I pronounced it "Nay-dar." She is just jealous of my public spiritedness anyway...

This is day 30 or so of my raw food diet. People on the raw food message board introduce themselves by stating the percentage of raw food in their their diet... I think I might have been 95% raw (maybe more...) for these past 30 days... Below are the times I fell off the raw food wagon...

A lunch of Chinese food
A dinner of Thai food
A jar of hummus (I thought it was raw until I looked up hummus recipes on the Internet...)
A few hummus beans (After I ate the hummus and found out if was cooked, I was so enamored of chick peas that I cooked a few that were part of a failed sprouting experience. I ate a few but then decided to throw them out before I ate more...)
Cashews (Apparently, cashews labled as "raw" are not really raw. They are heated to get them out of the shell... Sarah's innate cheapness will not allow her to procure really raw ones at great expense via the Internet...)
Pistachios (Since I ate some cooked cashews I decided a few roasted pistachios wouldn't hurt...yeek, I can see a slippery slope here... I don't want to throw them out because my rat can always eat them, but she apparently is not eating them fast enough...)

Now I am an official Kerry volunteer! You know things are tough when I support a suspected war criminal and would-be philanderer... I haven't been call upon to do anything yet (the best kind of volunteering!)... I might not ever be if they read my blog! Yeeck. Do I mention my full name anywhere in here... I was inspired to further political action by my previously mentioned foray into politics... I am even going to vote while I am there...in a primary (ashamedly, this is my first time for a primary...) Eek!

Note to self - If I ever exercise total control over a kid, I am naming him/her Lertlarp.

My foray into politics... I am going to be a greeter on voting day (March 3rd)! I am going to stay out a respectful distance (I am going to try and get in the voting booth with them) away from the polls and hand out library referendum propaganda! More library books for me!!! After my harsh service I am going to suggest they increase their collection of raw food propaganda...

This morning I awoke with the need to go hammer reconnoitering around my apartment. (This is when I grab one of the two hammers by my bed and pop up quickly into the living room to surprise whoever is lurking with a hammer attack. Then I round the corner to the kitchen quickly in case the rascal is trying rustling through my raw food before trying to kill me. In more extreme cases I check the closets.) I gave my friends who have a keys to my apartment codes phrases to avoid the hammer attack - "It's me, Sarah, don't hit me with the hammer!" Rather unwieldly, but easy to remember in an emergency... A very very scary dream was the catalyst for my paranoia, I suppose.

I have been up for an one and 1/2, but now I want to go back to sleep... Sniff sniff. The story of my life...

Political ad to make one go "hmm..."

An Air National Guard plane lands in some foreign place and a bunch of soldiers get off... Then, the commanding officer takes roll call and keeps yelling, "Bush, Bush, G.W. Bush... Where are you??"

In the next scene soldiers are shooting children and then running around trying to hide the bodies. A soldier yells "Bush, Bush, where are you??"

I don't listen to country music much (really, I don't listen to much music at all) but I was driving down the road today hoping to get some errands accomplished (things purchased) at Target... Then this song came on the radio that started something like, "I got some rice cooking in the microwave...." Then, the song goes on to extoll the virtues of being alive. This is why, when I listen to it, I love country music. It is has a way with the mundane when it is not crooning about lovin' and losin'....

I forgot to finish the story. I abandoned my good shopping intentions and went to the liquor store and bought some cigars and then I went to a bar and had some booze. Something about that guy being so happy about his rice...

Later, I fell asleep at an ice skating rink.

Hours of anti-Bush fun for you...

So far, I like "Bring It On" best...

NOTE TO SELF: If it becomes necessary to eat through my nose, eat gummy bears.

As part of my ongoing committment to doing something strange/scary/out of character every day of this new year, I got desperate last night as the clock approached midnight and decided to try eating through my nose. Luckily, a friend had some gummy bears. It was working pretty well...the snot seemed to be digesting the gummy bear, but then it started to hurt a bit so I removed it. Some doubted if me eating through my nose was particularly out of character. I personally found the sensation a bit scary...

But, announcing this is not the reason for this post. What could be weirder than this! I am surprised I did not hear about this before... Maybe we should have put the astronauts in the worm container...

My ratty...

OH MY GOD! This is getting embarrassing. The next poem is so pitifully hilarious (a poem of heartbreak) that I am too embarassed to post it. For a private review, please contact the author.

This next one is not so bad...


Headache

I put some Icy Hot on my head
but it didn’t go away.

The idea held such promise
the label seemed to say.

“Activates to hot for a penetrating warmth
to relax the pain away.”

To find relief in the bottle
better try Bengay.


I also like this one a bit... It was written after a friend described trying to drive home after a breakup discussion with a boyfriend of like a decade.

Untitled

this too will pass
over and over
in my head as I walk out the door

searching the parking lot
for my lost life
I settle instead for my car


I am ashamed to admit it, but I kinda like my old poems!!!

Untitled

Failure to thrive
they say about babies
who lie there and drool all day.

Being alive
they say about people
who move about
and talk real loud.

I was a poet but didn't know it!!! My recent attendance of a lovely poetry reminded me of several poems I wrote in my torment youth (actually, I wasn't that young...)

I was organizing the stuff in my closet (again) and I finally decided to get sort out my old computer disks. I could not figure out how to open my old .WPD files but finally figured out that maybe that stood for "Word Perfect." Anyway, with the magic of Microsoft, I was able to able to open my old files.

The first document I opened was a "poem" was entitled "Arthur." This one I wrote when my beloved rat was dying many years ago. What the hell it means is anyone's guess... Thankfully, I never took up the genre again...

Arthur

There is no greater friend
than the one you invent
to keep yourself from who.

There were lots promotional notes at work this week, so my co-worker sent this out:

"Please join me in congratulating Sarah on her promotion to web picture distorter. Sarah has successfully altered the eye and chin size of faces on the internet. (Sarah has not yet succeeded at making hairdos look more attractive on the internet though).

Sarah started this role last week while students were waiting for her chat responses.

In her spare time, Sarah enjoys increasing her rat toy collection, taking pictures of stuffed animals with glasses on them and lamenting about the lack of romantic spark from her internet dates."

Ooh... Heheehe..

My friend April is being really nice to me today!!! She spontaneously brought me some tea at work and now she is inquiring about whether I need a ride to the airport a couple of weeks from now. And she is getting me some more tea! This is like having the oft dreamed about personal assistant... She probably doesn't want to me to put this picture online. Or she might want me to work for her next week...

Not speaking about my friend April in particular, but people are a lot like rats (hmm...but my rat is named April...) as I am sure I have stated before in my blog.

Co-dependency...the parallel between battered women and rats... When my rat May was living, April had a tendency to pluck May's hair out (for reasons never known to me...) So, figuring that May occassionally got tired of the abuse, I would put them in separate cages but then leave the doors open in case they wanted to get back in the same cage together or just sit out on the table. Invariably, May would go rejoin April in the other cage...

Destructiveness... Last week April (still talking about the rat here) crawled into my closet and ruined my funeral skirt by taking exactly two bites out of it. She didn't chew it up and make a nest out of it (well, she probably didn't have time anyway...) she just chomped on it just enough to ruin it.

More later...

On an unrelated topic, the tiny island nation of Kiribati (where my dad, sisters and stepmother live) has taken a small step toward toppling a giant, or so you might think by the reaction... After Kiribati suddenly recognized Taiwan as like an actual country and let them have an embassy there, the Chinese government broke diplomatic ties and rushed home like the crazed immature babies they are.

Someone told me that if you looked at pornography with one eye, it isn't as bad...

Bush has announced that he is going to vote for himself. "Proof of his own stupidity," quipped my Republican co-worker...

This is my kinda game! Of course, I would probably have to play with two 12 ounce beers. And, the only competitors I could find would probably just only play if they could use bottled water. Oh, my life is so fun...

First of all, I would like to point out that I am always right and you all come around to my way of thinking eventually and then give me absolutely no credit. You know who you are.

What, you ask, brings you back to your blog today, Sarah? What indeed... My favorite subject, of course. My yeasties and my fervent hope that they all die soon! Anyway, I went to a new doctor because my yeasties are so cute that I had to share the wealth with other doctors... Or, erm, I think that 6 months is a good lifespan for yeasties and want them dead dead dead! Anyway, I told the new doctor the yeastie saga. This rather sympathetic doctor (a change, both the sympathy and the doctor part (the others were nurse practioners..)) commented that I had tried all the usual drugs. I mentioned that word that doctors love to hear (the "Internet") and said I read about anti-fungal drugs that are prescribed to people dying of AIDS... So, she prescribed me some! Just kidding. She looked at me weird and said that those are awfully hard on the liver. Maybe it is best to conserve the liver if you are expected to live on after treatment... I don't know. The good part of the visit is that she prescribed a new drug and one of the old drugs (Terazol, which is supposedly the best yeastie drug out there...) The new one is just an antibiotic. Those are really supposed to cause yeasties, buy hey, I am not that picky. All I want is something that has not yet been tried.

In other dread disease news, my mother does not have hepatitis. She stuck a needle into a person with hepatisis and then stuck it into herself. This sounds rather exotic, but really it wasn't since she is a nurse. She was naturally fearful that she had contracted the disease, but I pointed out that she probably doesn't have anymore than 10 or 15 years left either way. She did not find this very comforting... What is that movie in which someone shouts, "Do you want to live forever?!" Apparently so. And she her optimist is unaffected by the relatively short lives of her immediate family. With those genes, I am planning on struggling on to maybe 62, with some luck... She insists that the true longevity of her family has been obscured by early deaths from smoking related disease... Well, that would be an argument in favor of her long life...if she hadn't smoked.